


Give A Mouse an Iron Man

by AnonEhouse



Category: Beauty and the Beast (TV 1987), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 04:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3515126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the nuke Tony carried sealed the portal, but didn't kill the advance squad already in Manhattan? What if Hulk saved Tony, but was too busy fighting to wake him up with HULK-BREATH? What if the rest of the Avengers had no choice but to leave Tony lying on the ground while they battled?</p><p>What if a Mouse was attracted to shiny things?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

A manhole cover slid aside. A rumpled dirty blond head peeked out. A chitauri soldier flew by, impelled by Hulk's fist. The Avengers were fighting furiously. "Mouse doesn't like noise." The head began to retreat, but then popped up again and the scruffy young man grinned. "But Mouse does like toys. Big, shiny robot!" 

 

"Look!" Mouse said to Vincent. "Found a robot!"

Vincent looked down at Mouse and then at the armor clad body Mouse was dragging through the tunnels, which were rapidly filling with refugees from the surface. He knelt briefly and used his claws to pry at the edges of the helmet to reveal Tony Stark's unconscious face. "That's not a robot, Mouse. Take him to Father."

"Mouse found him! Belongs to Mouse!" Mouse pouted. 

Vincent patted Mouse on the shoulder. "No, Mouse. Take him to Father, and then come back and help guide people to safety. It's very important."

Mouse looked sulky. "Not supposed to let top people into the tunnels. Not safe!"

"Mouse," Vincent said softly. "Please?"

Mouse huffed. "All right, all right, Mouse does as Vincent asks. But first take Robot Man to Father. Yes?"

"Yes." Vincent ruffled Mouse's hair.

 

"What?" Tony opened his eyes. He saw a man wearing ridiculously old-fashioned, like something out of romance novel, clothes peering down at him through spectacles. He was holding a small oxygen tank, directed at Tony's face, which explained the cool breeze. Tony sat up in a panic. He felt a cool breeze all over. He wasn't wearing the Iron Man, just his rock concert shirt and trousers. "What just happened? WHERE'S my SUIT?"

"Apparently the city's been invaded by hostile aliens. You were brought to me suffering from mild hypoxia." The man pushed his eyeglasses back. "Your... suit is it? Your suit was damaged, so Mouse took it to repair."

"You gave my suit to a mouse?"

Another man spoke from a doorway that Tony hadn't noticed because the room, the ridiculously weirdly furnished room, was dark. Lit by candles. "Not a MOUSE. Mouse!" he said. "Mouse fixed it! Mouse fixed it good."

"Good. Give it back," Tony said, ignoring the unimportant, insane aspects, because hey, hammer flying Norse gods, portals to other worlds, freaky, ugly warrior _things_ dropping from flying giant centipedes? Yeah, waking up in Ren Faire was nothing.

Mouse pouted. "MOUSE fixed. Pretty. Mouse wants it."

Tony blinked. Obviously Mouse's batteries were low. Or he'd lost his wireless connection. "I'll make you something pretty, just for you, later. But I need my suit now."

Mouse shuffled his feet and then nodded rapidly. "Mouse says 'yes'. You promise? Pretty toy just for Mouse?"

"Absolutely, sure thing."

 

A week later after the last of the chitauri had been disposed of and things were returning to normal, Dummy gave an excited squeal, and began racing around the workroom, You right behind him. "PRETTY! Mouse can have?"

Tony turned, to see Mouse standing between his two bots, petting them. "You really wouldn't want them, they're stupid."

"Oh." Mouse frowned in thought a moment. Then he grinned. "Arthur! Make me robot Arthur."

"What's an Arthur?" Tony said, resigned to doing whatever it took to satisfy Mouse. Apparently Jarvis would NOT keep Mouse out of the workroom no matter what Tony said.

"My Arthur." Mouse held his hands a couple feet apart to indicate size. "He's a raccoon."

"Raccoon. You want a robot raccoon named Arthur. Sure."

"No, got one Arthur. Mouse wants robot raccoon named...." Mouse looked around the workshop. "ROCKET!"

"Fine," Tony said. "Rocket the Robot Raccoon. I can make it smart, but making it smart and nice at the same time, I don't know."

"ROCKET!" Mouse said happily, and then went over to poke and tweak at Dummy.

Tony grumbled, but after all, a promise was a promise.


	2. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have to add this, due to AO3 bug.

For some reason the fic wasn't showing up in search even after I waited a long time, so I tried adding a non-chapter. It showed up in search & I was 'ok, I'll delete the non-chapter'. 

And then the fic disappeared again. So I'm putting up another non-chapter.

Anyway, as long as I'm here, I'm trying to get into writing mode, so if you have any favorites of my short fic that you think might do well with a bit more added, you can mention them in comments & I'll make a list & try to do some in between working on my Reverse Big Bang Stony. Only don't expect long fic, they'll just be momentum fillers to keep my muse active.

It hasn't immediately come back, so I may ramble and edit this chapter for a while.

Still not showing. I guess only the folks who sub. to me as author will find it.

Oh, wait, it IS showing up under Iron Man & Beauty & the Beast. Shall try deleting and adding back the Avengers tag.

Nope, that didn't do it. *headscratch*

Ok, I'm going to try posting a new copy & if that works, I'll wait a while to be sure it stays, and then delete this one.

On second thought, I'd better leave it up, because I gave Support this URL to check it out. So. uh... freebie chapter of nonsense.

How come the portmanteau for Natasha/Clint is Clintasha? I think it should be Black Eye.

Someone puts up a banner 'Welcome Avenger's' which doesn't last long because Bruce turns green when he sees it. HULK SMASH APOSTROPHE- Hulk not possessive.

Someday I might write a fic where Nick Fury is Tony's godfather, and feels guilty because he got too busy to be in Tony's life. Why else would he send his 'good eye' Phil Coulson, to essentially babysit Tony?

Another old thought I had: Marvel LOVES dysfunctional families.

You have a loving family, both parents supportive and happily married, you're sane, steadily employed, and in a stable relationship? Ok, you're cannon fodder, go stand under the collapsing building.

Your father was a drunktard, your mother a babying neurotic, both of them murdered by the family friend who then twisted your relationships further to the point you're a self-destructive drunktard emoing manwhore? Awesome, you can head up the Superhero team. Here's your union card. Have a nice day.

Do you know what's really in Tony Stark's green smoothies?

WHIRLED PEAS! He privatized it.

Tony's Mark 1 chest piece (arc reactor) could generate 3 gigajoules per second. I looked up the conversion, that's 3 gigawatts. All subsequent chest  
pieces are more powerful. He kicks it up past supersonic speeds with the Mark 3.

 Doc Brown's Delorean only needs to go 88 MPH with 1.21 Gigawatts.

So Tony could use his suit to go through time!  (If I could just convince him that Back to the Future wasn't totally bogus.)

Am starting on a Stony reverse big bang. Not sure where it'll wind up, but it's currently a mixture of fairy tale, Iron Man 1, and Captain America: the First Avenger. Tony's a Prince, Steve is Estelle, a peasant. Since posting date is a long, long way off, I'll try to come up with short fic to post here from time to time.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Wasn't feeling well, so I napped after eating, and this is the result.
> 
> Also Note: Yes, ok, Guardians of the Galaxy sneaked in a tiny, tiny, tiny bit. Not fair to tag it for that, but just so you know, yes, it was deliberate.
> 
> I haven't watched TV in decades, so I didn't know there was a B&B reboot. 
> 
> This is the wikipedia info on [ B&B the one I knew](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_and_the_Beast_\(1987_TV_series\))


End file.
